This entry is in honor of Olivia and Levina.



A box his home.
Knock knock.
Private property. No trespassing.
...
Beware of dog.


Hearts are not for stealing
Some locks cannot be picked
Use Other Entrance
You've yet to get a key.


Prop open.
Banana peel.
You too?
Apparently not.


KIX! Kid tested, Mother Approved!


Resistors are nice.
But stars shine.


I am more comfortable sitting by the kitchen sink, singing along with a lonely guitar, than socializing with the rest of the party. Does this make me lame?

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HAHA okay this was a lot of fun but I'm done now. =)
I guess in retrospect, using analogies does convey what I'm thinking pretty clearly.
It's just that nobody else understands what I'm really saying.
Ooohhh artsy. =P



But of a totally different note... I would love to have a Tiffany's key. I'm really into key symbolism right now... too bad the cheapest one is $100. Ah wells. I'll just use one of my 5 CCI keys and string it on some rope and wear it around my neck... oh wait, I guess my lanyard already qualifies. -_- Too bad lanyards are BIG and UGLY.



I received a letter from Lawrence today. Super exciting, I love my favorite Mormon. It's especially exciting considering that Lawrence is on his 'mission' in Argentina and so snail mail is our only form of communication for the next 2+ years... too bad his cursive is very hard to read and I'm not quite sure what the letter actually says, but from what I gather he's trying very hard to convert me, because the entire thing is about his faith. Not that I can blame him, half of my letters to girls back home are about what I'm learning from God too. Mmm... time for an old picture!


Pretty sure this is Homecoming junior year. Hahaha. Lawrence looks sooo thrilled to be my date. Ahh this was back with Diana and Dom were dating and were officially the smartest couple in the entire school, yeesh. Diana and I had gotten our hair cut earlier that day and she looked superbly beautiful, she can totally pull off face-framing bangs. Hahaha. Oh high school. I remember this was a big deal too because it was one of the few dances where I didn't tag along with the 862736 group composed entirely of my youth group friends. Gasp! Going to a school dance without at least 10 other asian people with me? Instead I went with 2 white people!!! Pahahaha. I can't stop laughing at these memories.

Okay. Random time of thinking...
I really appreciate people who are open and consistent within their own personalities.
By open I mean, I really enjoy talking to people with whom I can have a lively conversation, where there is give and take, and we are both answering and asking questions, elaborating upon what we have to say, making it easy for the other person to respond and understand what you are saying. Where I am not always the one initiating or feeling like I'm doing all the sharing. I don't want to hear myself talk all the time, and I'm pretty positive nobody else does either. As I interact with more people of different personalities, it's the people who are open about themselves, who respond to me, that are easiest to talk to. I know people build up "walls" for different reasons, or don't like to share, or whatever it is. That's fine. But then I just don't have that moment of clicking with them, where we have that mutual understanding and bonding moment and realize that we can really be ourselves with each other. Then I can talk about my day, they can talk about theirs, we can show what mood we are really feeling without fear of being judged for not holding up the image that people generally expect us to have.

Its difficult because some of the people that I have been most open with, have invested the most in, have been reduced from 'close friend' to 'acquaintance'-level. It's weird to think that you can share so much of your life with another person, and then suddenly that channel is closed and you feel as if a door was just slammed in your face. Which is why I also value consistency. I know people have mood swings and off days, but as long as they are still consistent within their own faith and person, then the vulnerability to show those moods are what makes them a real person. Even though circumstances change and people might be physically distant, I know a friendship is real when I can strike up a conversation with them and we can immediately fill each other in on what is happening in our lives and still be just as open with each other as we were before.

I feel like I'm a terrible writer. This all made more sense in my head.

I want to be very honest about who I am and where my head is at. I desire to be someone that is easy to talk to, easy to get to know and approach, and willing to be vulnerable enough to show people that I do struggle with things, but that I am always working on improving myself. I don't really understand the point of not being open about how I'm really feeling. It certainly doesn't benefit me to stuff my emotions inside and then feel awesome because I can deal with them myself... esp since I can't deal with them myself (and therefore don't feel awesome, haha), and my peers are the ones who keep me accountable and in line.

Thanks to the friends that I can be silly, angry, stressed out, bubbly, crazy, loud, and quiet with.
And double thanks to the friends that can be themselves with me too. =)